Time for two 一念即三千;三千即一念

"Darling, I am here for you"
"I know you are there, and I am very happy"

It can be easy to slip into a pattern of negative thinking, conditioned by our own critical thinking and social views about what is "quality time" for a relationship.

These set up expectations that limit us from being fully present. When we cannot be fully present and allow our emotions of insecurity to rise up, then we are also affecting our loved one. In a way it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, a wrong view that propagates and reinforces itself.

Instead of letting views define what is "quality time", why not be fully present and construct the quality during the valuable short span of time with a loved one. 

By choosing and knowing how to be fully present, we walk on a path that leads to greater happiness and thus weaken the habit of stepping onto the negative pathways.

一念即三千；三千即一念。

The Way Out is In

As a counsellor, dealing with despair that exists in client's life is one of the most challenging aspects about the work. There is this kind of despair where one thinks the only way out is when life is ended. Confronted with this, I have sometimes felt that the work is overwhelming and I would be better off "out" of this. 

In counselling, stepping "out" means for me turning away or ignoring the matter on hand. There are many skilful ways to do this without jeopardizing the relationship with client. For example, one can try to instil hope, look for strengths, explore alternative perspectives, or look at exceptions.

It sounds justifiable since no harm is done and we also avoid over-taxing ourselves. Mostly it is workable and in fact these are accepted approaches in counselling. However, I wonder how it would be like to dwell "in" the despair together with clients.  

I had the opportunity to do this recently. There was certainly anxiety and fear that the session would spiral into oblivion. What kept me open and available to the dreadful experience was the practice of mindfulness, concentration, and insight.

To be fully aware of the happenings within me and with the clients, such as the strong emotions and negative thoughts. 

To maintain concentration so as not to be distracted or pulled away by these strong thoughts and feelings, especially fear. 

The final bit is still a work in progress: to be without fear, to feel free, knowing that there is no birth and no death. There is only the present moment here.

In coming near to the point of oblivion, it seemed a phoenix arose from the ashes.

The process is rather profound and I'm still contemplating on the experience and its effects on me and the clients.

Ordination

What does ordination into the Order of Interbeing mean.

Somehow it is insufficient for me to describe it as a religious ceremony. That seems to limit it to something mundane in this current day and age.

Perhaps it is like Death-Birth, a visible mark of change, so that ancient and precious Compassion and Wisdom may continue to manifest in this living body. And thereafter I may pass it on to benefit others through my thoughts, words, and deeds.

“Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit"

-- John 20:21-22

Contemplation on a Nation's Peace, Happiness, and Prosperity

We, the citizens of Singapore,

pledge ourselves as one united people,

regardless of race, language or religion,

to build a democratic society

based on justice and equality

so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and

progress for our nation.

 

"In December 1976, while attending a conference in Singapore of 300 religious leaders sponsored by the World Conference on Religion and Peace (WCRP), Thay was informed by a group of Vietnamese women that there were thousands of Vietnamese in refugee camps in Thailand and Malaysia, with no hope of being accepted into a new country. In Singapore there were fewer refugees, because the government's policy there was to push all refugee boats back to sea, even when that meant leaving the refugees to die. If a Singapore fishing boat was caught helping a refugee boat, the fishing boat's owner had to post a $4,000 bond for each refugee saved. Only after the refugees were pushed back to sea could he get his money refunded."

-- Learning True Love by Sister Chân Không

You stay up late tonight, my brothers.

This I know,

because the boat people

on the high seas

never dare go to sleep.

I hear the cry of the winds

around me ---

total darkness.

Yesterday they threw the dead bodies

of their babies and children

into the water.

Their tears once again filled

the ocean of suffering.

In what direction are their boats drifting

at this moment?

You stay up very late tonight, brothers,

because the boat people

on the high seas

are not certain at all that mankind exists.

Their loneliness

is so immense.

The darkness has become one with the ocean --

and the ocean, an immense desert.

You stay up all night, brothers,

and the whole universe

clings to your being awake.

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

Four Oceans

My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans

-- from Please Call Me by My True Names, a poem by Thich Nhat Hanh

A contemplation for the day ...

Tears of anguish came forth as she spoke of her son being in jail. A young man who suffers from brain damage, slurred speech, and dependency on alcohol to drown his own hurts. A mother who faces the reality that husband and children can no longer accommodate their son and brother. A man filled with pain and anger, frustrated and disappointed in himself. Once a fine strong man who taught and led others in a noble profession upholding justice. Now he is named an abusive and violent person. She keeps his room untouched, knowing it brings sorrow if she stepped in. She is uncertain about his future and hers in turn.

Touching the Earth

In gratitude, I bow to all generations of ancestors in my spiritual family.

I see in myself my teachers, the ones who show me the way of love and understanding, the way to breathe, smile, forgive, and live deeply in the present moment.

I see through my teachers all teachers over many generations and traditions, going back to the ones who began my spiritual family thousands of years ago.

I see the Buddha or Christ or the patriarchs and matriarchs as my teachers, and also as my spiritual ancestors. I see that their energy and that of many generations of teachers has entered me and is creating peace, joy, understanding, and loving kindness in me. 

I know that the energy of these teachers has deeply transformed the world. Without the Buddha and all these spiritual ancestors, I would not know the way to practice to bring peace and happiness into my life and into the lives of my family and society. I open my heart and my body to receive the energy of understanding, loving kindness, and protection from the Awakened Ones, their teachings, and the community of practice over many generations.

I am their continuation. I ask these spiritual ancestors to transmit to me their infinite source of energy, peace, stability, understanding, and love. 

I vow to practice to transform the suffering in myself and the world, and to transmit their energy to future generations of practitioners. My spiritual ancestors may have had their own difficulties and not always been able to transmit the teachings, but I accept them as they are.

Mothers

When you grow up, you might believe that you and your mother are two different people. But it's not really so. We're extensions of our mother. We mistakenly believe that we're a different person than our mother. We are a continuation of our mother and father, and our ancestors as well.

Imagine a grain of corn we plant in the soil. Seven days later it sprouts and begins to take the form of a cornstalk. When the stalk has grown high, we won't see the kernel anymore. But the kernel hasn't died. It's still there. Looking deeply, we can still see the kernel in the stalk. The kernel and the stalk are not two different entities; one is the continuation of the other. The stalk is the continuation of the kernel in the direction of the future, and the kernel is the continuation of the stalk in the direction of the past. They are neither the same thing or two different things. You and your mother are not exactly the same person, but you are not exactly two different people either. This is a very important teaching. No one can be by himself or herself alone. We have to inter-be, connected with everyone and everything else.

-- Thich Nhat Hanh