Displacement

I've been feeling troubled by the recent news of Singaporeans living in tents pitched at Sembawang Park.  On one end of the public housing spectrum, The Pinnacle@Duxton stands as an epitome of high living standards, on the other end there are make shift camping tents occupied by those labeled as "displaced" by the vary same providers of public housing.  It's as if the term displacement absolves guilt from the actual consequence of having homeless people.

I went down to Sembawang Park to take a look for myself.  Altogether I counted 22 tents of various sizes though it was more difficult to count the actual persons living there and the number of family units.  It is a sizeable problem because almost all the approved tent pitching space has been taken up.  I've been staying in Sembawang for 39 years and this is certainly a sight new to me.  I wonder what it signifies about the societal changes in my life time. 

Dusk has come along with rain clouds and cold winds.  I feel displaced.

Passion

Where or what is the source of my passion?  Some might say it comes from the joy of helping others who are lost, from a sense of fulfillment in contributing to society, or from doing good works that will lead me to heavenly rewards.  Somehow such generalisations don't seem to fit.

As a therapist, I am invited to a privileged position where I can facilitate another to explore different paths in life.  These paths may be small trails that were ventured into but long forgotten.  Or they could be paths currently taken but the scenery overlooked.  They can also be paths round the corner, unseen and therefore brings about anxiety. 

In this privileged position, I am also influenced by the stories of others as we jointly explore such paths.  There is a sense of intimate exchange taking place, intimate in the sense that it is something uniquely personal and therefore sacred.  Out of this exchange, new meanings are constructed.

Making meaning out of others' life also leads to the creation of new meanings in my own life.  And this is where my passion springs forth.

It only takes a spark

I came home with many feelings and thoughts after attending the commemoration event to mark the birthday of the late Mr. J. B. Jeyaretnam (JBJ).  It was a weird feeling being there and later when Mr. Goh Meng Seng mentioned he came from the "lost generation" of those born in the 70's, it became clear why I felt that way.  I was a 39 year old among the crowd of younger people in their 20s and those in their 50s and older.  Mr. Goh is also 39 and he shared of how our generation grew up being chided by parents not to criticize the government.  Any discussion about the government was hush hush and I recall that some of my respect for Mr. Lee Kuan Yew contained an element of fear.

I never had to question about politics in Singapore, so besides fear, there could also be complacency as life flowed on smoothly from schooling to working life.  Overcoming a mid-life career switch had probably set off a series of questions about life; questions about my own philosophy of life, religion, and now history and politics.  Most questions are unsettling because it opens up the possibility for change.

Exploring the alternative and often silent history about Singapore agitated me as I learned of how voices had been suppressed for many years.  As a narrative therapist I believe that the dominant story often does not describe life in its full richness, and that the subordinate stories provide openings for greater meaning making in life.

At the same time, I also feel heartened that Singapore has many heroic figures in its history.  JBJ and many others like Mr. Said Zahari and Dr. Lim Hock Siew are heroic because they stood firm on their beliefs; beliefs which they held onto dearly in the face of lawsuits, bankruptcy, incarceration, and even threat of death.  I am hopeful they will eventually be recognized for their contributions.

At the commemoration I was touched by some personal anecdotes about JBJ, one of which is that he bore no personal hatred against any politician.  It was a stark contrast to the feeling of vindictiveness experienced by ex-political prisoners such as Mr. Said Zahari.

Ms. Sylvia Toh interviewed me on why I was there.  "I'm here to observe, to listen, and to respect someone  who offered an alternative voice."  Overall I feel energized and privileged to have been a witness to the event.

Who are we?

The Straits Times published a special report today, titled "Complications of a complex racial identity", that focused on the change in policy allowing parents in mixed ethnicity marriages to decide which race their newborn child can be registered as, whether following the father's or the mother's.

There are many implications tied to "race" in Singapore, one of which is the Ethnic Integration Policy that is a blunt tool to ensure racial mix in HDB housing estates. This re-definition of race seems to make any policies based on race rather meaningless. Indeed the whole concept of race and ethnicity deserves to be questioned in a world where boundaries between peoples are blurred.

Other factors influenced by race include school fee subsidies where it becomes necessary to determine which organization should be approached. This is already an ongoing issue though the policy change probably makes it more apparent with this special report on it in mainstream media.

Consider such a confusion: who should a Chinese Muslim student approach for help? The CDAC or Mendaki? If the parents contribute to Mendaki on a monthly basis, can the child still approach CDAC? To make it more confusing, suppose the parents also contribute to CDAC, what then? These are issues that baffle people seeking help because the major financial aid organizations (CDAC, Mendaki, SINDA) also categorize their clients by race (for Mendaki, the criteria is "Malay/Muslim").

The issue of equal contribution by Malays to Singapore's national defense continues to be a thorny issue even with the landmark appointment of the first Malay general in July 2009. Hopefully race will become less of an issue in determining who is suitable to stand up for Singapore.

Race can be a double-edged sword that unites groups of people and yet divides a nation. But with the blurring of racial lines, the question that bothers me most is this: what common identity holds Singapore together? And can it withstand other fiery swords that are being raised?

Alternative history to Singapore

Is history ever a consistent single story line? I believe there will always be gaps and distortions. Sometimes the construction of these are accidental or subconscious as the historian or writer necessarily makes interpretations and summaries. Sometimes these are deliberate due to self-interests or misguided good intent.

Growing up in the typical education system of Singapore, I never questioned the facts of history and the key heroes that led the country to independence. I took things for granted. There was no encouragement to be inquisitive as the environment favoured people who did well in conforming to the norm.

Inquisitiveness is de-valued and reframed as rebelliousness or defiance in our society. As I switched career to become a counsellor, the value of genuine curiosity became more significant. I became interested in the post-modern and post-structuralist approaches that pervaded beyond counselling.

How do we question the facts? Aren't facts supposed to stand on their own without doubt? After I heard an interview with Dr. Lim Hock Siew, who was a political prisoner arrested during Operation Cold Store, it became clearer what had happened to the facts.

Truth or "closer to the truth" can only be formed when more facts are provided. When I heard about such facts being suppressed and silenced, it led to many more questions. Why was there a fear of the truth? Was it a valid fear? Are there repercussions for those who withheld the truth?

I believe a valuable lesson here is to learn how to look for what had been absent, what lies beyond the presented facts.

The wisdom of adaptability - 心能转境

心能转境

不论遭遇如何境地，
山不转，路转；
路不转，人转；
人不转，境转；
境不转，心转。
心一转，宇宙人生，穷通祸福，
一派潇潇洒洒，任运自然。

-- 星云大师

What's in a word?

A woman lost her husband and lived with a major regret in her heart for many years. She had released permission for an operation that resulted in his coma and death.

The regret had another layer of meaning as it meant not being able to hear his last words because of the coma. In his last moments, she had spoken to him by his bed assuring him that she would care for the family. She knew what he would have wanted. Although without speech, he responded with his tears and felt at ease to pass on.

She continues to struggle with the missing words and only hopes to hear him in her dreams. Perhaps it's time his tears begin to speak.